Aunt Offers to Pay Nephew's College Tuition If He Meets 3 Conditions. But Her Sister Thinks They're Too Tough

Mar. 15, 2025

Stock photo of man in college.Photo:Getty

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A 29-year-old woman is seeking advice from the Reddit community after refusing to pay for her nephew’s college education due to unmet conditions.The woman, who married into wealth, had offered to cover her nephew Jake’s college expenses if he met specific requirements. However, as application deadlines approach, it has become evident that Jake has failed to fulfill these conditions.“I didn’t want to just hand over the money without some responsibility attached,” the woman shares in theReddit post.Stock photo of woman paying college tuition.GettyShe had set three conditions for Jake: work part-time for 20 hours a week; complete 80 hours of community service annually; and maintain a grade average of 75 or higher. The aunt believes these conditions were reasonable and clearly communicated them to Jake, her sister and her husband.“I don’t want Jake to just coast through life without putting in any effort,” she shares. “He’s old enough to understand responsibility, and these conditions seem fair to me.”Never miss a story — sign up forPEOPLE’s free daily newsletterto stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer​​, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.Unfortunately, Jake has fallen short of meeting these conditions. His GPA is below the required 75, he’s working 10 hours a week and he hasn’t completed any community service. Despite multiple conversations about improving his performance, Jake has not made significant progress, the woman writes.Stock photo of man in college.GettyAs a result, the woman has decided to withhold financial support for Jake’s college education. She states, “With the deadlines looming, I told my sister that I won’t be paying for his college education unless he meets the conditions I set.”The decision has left Jake’s mother furious, and she’s since accused her sister of being too harsh. She believes the aunt should provide financial assistance regardless of whether or not Jake meets the conditions, arguing that the threat of student loan debt will negatively impact his academic performance.In an update to her post, the woman clarifies that she gave Jake three options for work-grade balance during his junior year of high school; he chose the lower grade option with more work hours.But, now the woman finds herself in a difficult position. On one hand, she wants to help her nephew achieve his dream of becoming a doctor and alleviate her sister’s financial burden. On the other hand, she believes in the importance of personal responsibility.Stock photo of students in college.Getty“I understand her frustration, but I feel like I’ve been reasonable. I feel like I gave him a fair opportunity,” she shares, noting that her sister has now been texting her multiple times a day in an effort to guilt trip the woman into paying.Since sharing the Reddit post, many users have sided with the poster on her actions but claim her expectations are too high for a high school student. The woman has since responded, claiming the goals were set based on her own parameters as a teenager.

A 29-year-old woman is seeking advice from the Reddit community after refusing to pay for her nephew’s college education due to unmet conditions.

The woman, who married into wealth, had offered to cover her nephew Jake’s college expenses if he met specific requirements. However, as application deadlines approach, it has become evident that Jake has failed to fulfill these conditions.

“I didn’t want to just hand over the money without some responsibility attached,” the woman shares in theReddit post.

Stock photo of woman paying college tuition.Getty

She had set three conditions for Jake: work part-time for 20 hours a week; complete 80 hours of community service annually; and maintain a grade average of 75 or higher. The aunt believes these conditions were reasonable and clearly communicated them to Jake, her sister and her husband.

“I don’t want Jake to just coast through life without putting in any effort,” she shares. “He’s old enough to understand responsibility, and these conditions seem fair to me.”

Never miss a story — sign up forPEOPLE’s free daily newsletterto stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer​​, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.

Unfortunately, Jake has fallen short of meeting these conditions. His GPA is below the required 75, he’s working 10 hours a week and he hasn’t completed any community service. Despite multiple conversations about improving his performance, Jake has not made significant progress, the woman writes.

Stock photo of man in college.Getty

As a result, the woman has decided to withhold financial support for Jake’s college education. She states, “With the deadlines looming, I told my sister that I won’t be paying for his college education unless he meets the conditions I set.”

The decision has left Jake’s mother furious, and she’s since accused her sister of being too harsh. She believes the aunt should provide financial assistance regardless of whether or not Jake meets the conditions, arguing that the threat of student loan debt will negatively impact his academic performance.

In an update to her post, the woman clarifies that she gave Jake three options for work-grade balance during his junior year of high school; he chose the lower grade option with more work hours.

But, now the woman finds herself in a difficult position. On one hand, she wants to help her nephew achieve his dream of becoming a doctor and alleviate her sister’s financial burden. On the other hand, she believes in the importance of personal responsibility.

Stock photo of students in college.Getty

“I understand her frustration, but I feel like I’ve been reasonable. I feel like I gave him a fair opportunity,” she shares, noting that her sister has now been texting her multiple times a day in an effort to guilt trip the woman into paying.

Since sharing the Reddit post, many users have sided with the poster on her actions but claim her expectations are too high for a high school student. The woman has since responded, claiming the goals were set based on her own parameters as a teenager.

source: people.com