Groom’s Mother 'Can’t Stand' Future Daughter-in-Law, But Still Has to Give Wedding Speech

Mar. 15, 2025

Stock Wedding Image.Photo:CREATISTA/Getty

CREATISTA/Getty

A mother is dreading her son’s nuptials because she “can’t stand” his bride — and doesn’t want to be a “hypocrite” in her wedding speech!

“Dear Miss Manners: My daughter married a wonderful man, and I happily support their union,” she wrote. “My son, however, is about to marry a young lady whom I really can’t stand.”

Stock wedding image.Klaus Vedfelt/Getty

Klaus Vedfelt/Getty

The letter writer does not like her future daughter-in-law because she has driven a wedge between her and her son, she said.

“She tells my son wicked, untrue things about me, and almost alienated him from me,” the mother wrote, adding that the bride “insists that I treat him like a child instead of a grown man, which I can assure you I do not.”

Her dilemma lies with her wedding speech, which her son asked her to give at the upcoming ceremony. “I know that I am obliged to say complimentary things about both of them,” she said. “I wrote out a lovely speech, but will have a hard time actually saying it, as she is so odious.”

Seeking advice from Miss Manners, she said, “Should I just go ahead and give the speech, knowing that this is the only time I will have to do this?”

“Or,” she added, “should I try to find some clever wording to avoid being a complete hypocrite?”

Miss Manners’ advice for the mother of the groom? Throw on a poker face — and make sure a third party takes a peek at the speech prior to the nuptials.

“Unless you are a second Oscar Wilde (and perhaps even if you are), it is dangerous to think you are clever enough to give an insulting speech without being caught out,” the columnist responded.

“So perhaps,” she continued, “it would be better to put on your best party face and give your ‘lovely’ speech - after having a neutral person review the text to ensure that it is not likely to cause ill will for years to come.”

Never miss a story — sign up forPEOPLE’s free daily newsletterto stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from juicy celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.

The top-liked comment seeks another perspective, specifically the bride’s. “I want the Bride from LW1 to write in and give us the other side of the story,” the person wrote.

Others seconded this notion, writing, “shades of missing missing reasons!!!” and, “Yes I suspect she is walking point for the husband and that the MIL DOES treat him like a child.”

Another top-liked comment suggested that the mother of the groom give a slim but truthful speech, writing that “surely” the mom “can give a short speech in which she wishes them many years of happiness?”

“That was my thought, too,” another person responded. “Give short toast (long speeches describing the couple’s history are tedious in any case IMO), and surely she wishes her son happiness, so wishing the couple a harmonious life together is not being hypocritical.”

source: people.com