Jinger Duggar Vuolo Wanted to 'Share from My Own Heart' as She Candidly Details Struggles with People Pleasing in New Book (Exclusive)

Mar. 15, 2025

Jinger Vuolo attendsthe “Unsung Hero” screening at Lionsgate on April 17, 2024 in Santa Monica, California.Photo:Vivien Killilea/Getty

Vivien Killilea/Getty

Jinger Duggar Vuolo’s latest book is unlike anything she’s written in the past.InPeople Pleaser: Breaking Free from the Burden of Imaginary Expectations(out Jan. 14 from Thomas Nelson) the formerCounting Onstar candidly details her struggles with people pleasing, stemming from a belief she wasn’t enough that started in childhood. “I was more of the child who just wanted to get along with everyone,” she tells PEOPLE exclusively.“Even in the family, I would not try to ruffle anyone’s feathers. I just wanted to keep everybody happy with me all the time,” Jinger, now 31, continues. “I think in my teenage years it started to be more prevalent because at that point, you’re starting to process a lot more.“It only worsened withthe teachings of Bill Gothard, her minister at her former controversial ultra-conservative church, theInstitute in Basic Life Principles (IBLP).The cover art for Jinger Duggar Vuolo’s new book People Pleaser: Breaking Free from the Burden of Imaginary Expectations is pictured.W Publishing Group"There was so much that was drilled into you through what he said about trying to please your husband and if you don’t, he’s going to leave you,” she recalls. “It was all so focused on, ‘Do this, do this, do this,’ otherwise, you’re not going to be enough for him.“Jinger credits her husband,Jeremy Vuolo, with whom she sharesdaughters Felicity, 6, and Evangeline, 3, and is currentlyexpecting a third child, for helping to dismantle her long-held feeling of unworthiness. “He really challenged me just to be myself. That gave me so much freedom to be able to open up and be vulnerable,” she says.For more fromJinger Duggar Vuolo, pick up the latest issue of PEOPLE, on newsstands Friday, or subscribehere.As she details her journey to overcoming being a people pleaser in her latest book, Jinger has learned the importance of speaking her mind along the way — no matter what anyone has to say about it.Jinger Duggar Vuolo is pictured.Jinger Vuolo/Instagram"On social media, there will be people who say stuff to any of us. They’ll say things that are unkind, they’ll have their own ideas of why I might do something,” she explains.“But I wanted to be able to share from my own heart, my personal experiences of how motherhood has gone, how postpartum has been for me, and just break it down and say, ‘Okay, we don’t all have these perfectly curated lives,'” she continues, “‘and I think that everybody needs to see that and understand we don’t need to keep up this facade of who we want people to think we are, but we need to be genuine and real.'“Never miss a story — sign up forPEOPLE’s free daily newsletterto stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from juicy celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.People Pleaser: Breaking Free from the Burden of Imaginary Expectationscomes out on Jan. 14 and is available now for preorder, wherever books are sold.

Jinger Duggar Vuolo’s latest book is unlike anything she’s written in the past.

InPeople Pleaser: Breaking Free from the Burden of Imaginary Expectations(out Jan. 14 from Thomas Nelson) the formerCounting Onstar candidly details her struggles with people pleasing, stemming from a belief she wasn’t enough that started in childhood. “I was more of the child who just wanted to get along with everyone,” she tells PEOPLE exclusively.

“Even in the family, I would not try to ruffle anyone’s feathers. I just wanted to keep everybody happy with me all the time,” Jinger, now 31, continues. “I think in my teenage years it started to be more prevalent because at that point, you’re starting to process a lot more.”

It only worsened withthe teachings of Bill Gothard, her minister at her former controversial ultra-conservative church, theInstitute in Basic Life Principles (IBLP).

The cover art for Jinger Duggar Vuolo’s new book People Pleaser: Breaking Free from the Burden of Imaginary Expectations is pictured.W Publishing Group

W Publishing Group

“There was so much that was drilled into you through what he said about trying to please your husband and if you don’t, he’s going to leave you,” she recalls. “It was all so focused on, ‘Do this, do this, do this,’ otherwise, you’re not going to be enough for him.”

Jinger credits her husband,Jeremy Vuolo, with whom she sharesdaughters Felicity, 6, and Evangeline, 3, and is currentlyexpecting a third child, for helping to dismantle her long-held feeling of unworthiness. “He really challenged me just to be myself. That gave me so much freedom to be able to open up and be vulnerable,” she says.

For more fromJinger Duggar Vuolo, pick up the latest issue of PEOPLE, on newsstands Friday, or subscribehere.

As she details her journey to overcoming being a people pleaser in her latest book, Jinger has learned the importance of speaking her mind along the way — no matter what anyone has to say about it.

Jinger Duggar Vuolo is pictured.Jinger Vuolo/Instagram

Jinger Vuolo/Instagram

“On social media, there will be people who say stuff to any of us. They’ll say things that are unkind, they’ll have their own ideas of why I might do something,” she explains.

“But I wanted to be able to share from my own heart, my personal experiences of how motherhood has gone, how postpartum has been for me, and just break it down and say, ‘Okay, we don’t all have these perfectly curated lives,'” she continues, “‘and I think that everybody needs to see that and understand we don’t need to keep up this facade of who we want people to think we are, but we need to be genuine and real.'”

Never miss a story — sign up forPEOPLE’s free daily newsletterto stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from juicy celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.

People Pleaser: Breaking Free from the Burden of Imaginary Expectationscomes out on Jan. 14 and is available now for preorder, wherever books are sold.

source: people.com