Kristin Cavallari Says She 'Went on a Couple Dates' with Jay Cutler After Divorce to Rekindle Their Love: It's a 'Trauma Bond'

Mar. 15, 2025

Kristin Cavallari arrives to the 2023 People’s Choice Country Awards (left); Jay Cutler at Soldier Field (right).Photo:Todd Williamson/NBC/Getty; Splash News

Todd Williamson/NBC/Getty; Splash News

Kristin Cavallariisn’t shying away from the details of her marriage and eventual split fromJay Cutler.

OnBunnie XO’sDumb Blondepodcast, Cavallari, whowas married to Cutler, 41, from 2013 to 2020, admitted that things between the couple “were just never good” as she revealed how her troubled relationship with her father influenced her marriage.

“So, the thing is, I was repeating a pattern with my dad. And because I hadn’t done the work on my relationship with my dad — that’s what you do, you know? I ended up marrying my dad,” Cavallari, 37, said. “And so, it really forced me then to work through my s—, which is which is what I did.”

“Things were just never good and we tried, we really did… We really did everything that we could,” she said of her marriage, which she called “toxic” because she “hadn’t done the work on myself.”

Kristin Cavallari and Jay Cutler attend the Uncommon James VIP Grand Opening at Uncommon James on October 25, 2019 in Chicago, Illinois.Timothy Hiatt/Getty

Cavallari also admitted that she and Cutler — who isnow engaged to Samantha Robertson— “actually went on a couple dates” in the year following their divorce “trying to see” if their relationship could be rekindled.

“Because, man, it’s f—ing hard,” she said. “And then I think — unless you’ve gone through this, especially with a toxic marriage, it’s like, it has this hold on you… It’s a f—ing trauma bond. And until you can really break that, I would go back [to Cutler] a couple times and be like, ‘I know it’s not right, but, like, why am I doing it?'”

Eventually, though, Cavallari said that for the “18th millionth time was like, ‘I can’t do this,'” and she cut it off for good. “Then I really did the work.”

TheLaguna Beachalum also alleged her ex-husband is a “pathological liar” as she toldBunnie XO, “There are things from my marriage that I will never know, and I’ve just sort of had to let that go. I’m over it now, and I can – that’s why I can probably talk about it so freely.”

PEOPLE has reached out to Cutler for comment.

Kristin Cavallari on ‘Watch What Happens Live’.Charles Sykes/Bravo via Getty

Charles Sykes/Bravo via Getty

In October, Cavallari, whoshares sons Camden, 12, and Jaxon, 10, and a 9-year-old daughter, Saylor, with Cutler, said thather “heart broke” in her marriage to the Bears quarterback.

“Even though I’m the one that walked away, it was not what I wanted. It was not what I had envisioned,” she said on the Oct. 22 episode of her podcastLet’s Be Honest. “And I really tried f—ing everything I could. It’s just heartbreaking when you want something so badly but you just can’t get there. And I would say my heart was broken for years in my marriage — I mean it was.”

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However, she said that she and her ex are “in the best place that we’ve been in” lately.

“It took four years. But things are really good with us now. So much so that we even sat together at one ofCamden’sbasketball games recently, and that makes me so happy, because honestly, I never thought that we would get there. I really didn’t.”

source: people.com