Mom Refuses to Feed Kids Who Didn’t RSVP to Her Child’s Birthday Party

Mar. 15, 2025

Child’s birthday party (stock image).Photo:JGI/Jamie Grill/Getty

girl holding gift at birthday party - stock photo

JGI/Jamie Grill/Getty

A mother is debating whether she was wrong to refuse to feed two children who came to her kid’s birthday party unannounced.

On Feb. 26, she penned a lengthy post on the UK-based parenting siteMumsnet’s “Am I Being Unreasonable?” forum, writing under the username itsmeits. The mom explained that she arranged a bouncy castle party at a local leisure center for her 8-year-old child to celebrate with up to 40 other kids.

“I now had 18 from school confirmed + 6 siblings and 8 family. Happy days,” she wrote on Mumsnet. “Sunday (the party) I did the 32 Boxes and set up the party, you guessed it, 2 extra rock up from school.

Child eating at birthday party (stock image).Cavan Images/Getty

Overhead view of girl eating birthday cake - stock photo

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“Both Moms didn’t stay, were late, dropped kids at the door, pointed over and ran,” she continued. “Children weren’t fed. Moms were not happy when children told them when they collected them - 15 mins late, may I add.”

The mom vented about the expense of children’s parties and parents’ poor communication as she claimed to have arranged many events throughout the years.

She said even when parents RSVP there’s no guarantee that they will bring their child to the celebration.

“One of the school mums I have known for 10+ years couldn’t believe I said it and went through with it and didn’t provide extra on the off chance,” she said of her decision not to feed the two unexpected children.

“DD BF’s [dearest daughter’s best friend’s] mum thinks it’s hilarious and said she’s doing same May!” she continued.

Sad child (stock image).Taras Grebinets/Getty

A little birthday girl closes her eyes, sitting at table and awaiting the festive chocolate cake

Taras Grebinets/Getty

“It wasn’t a buffet, it was tailored boxes due to allergies - I am not putting my niece at risk,” she added. “It also cost me less than a buffet doing the boxes for everyone. Also much less waste.”

“The thing with spares is how many do you do though?” a commenter wrote. “Also some kids can drop out due to illness, change of circumstance on the day, and they end up wasted. You followed up and made it clear there would be no food for them without an rsvp.

“It’s also very rude to drop off kids at the door and not even take them to the parent hosting and at least say hello,” they continued. “I’m not exactly the most social person but I make the effort to do this at the very least and wish the birthday kid a Happy Birthday. You were not unreasonable.”

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Adults arguing (stock image).macniak/Getty

adults arguing

macniak/Getty

However, other commenters argued the mom’s actions “punished” the children who turned up for their parents’ actions.

“They’re children and they’ve been singled out compared to the other children and must have felt so unwelcome,” one person wrote. “I think this is awful behaviour and I felt so sad for those kids reading this, it’s not their fault it’s the parents. Shame on you to make a child feel like s— to prove a point.”

Agreeing, another said, “I would have done a few extra because you’ve punished the children for their parent’s thoughtlessness.”

source: people.com