Being an older sibling to octuplets is as hectic as it sounds.
Amerah Suleman,Octomom Natalie “Nadya” Suleman’s eldest daughter, 22, takes part in the upcoming Lifetime docuseriesConfessions of Octomom. Ahead of the March 10 premiere, she opens up to PEOPLE and speaks out for the first time about what life was like with her history-making younger siblings.
“At first I felt shut out,” Amerah shares candidly of her unique childhood experience. Back in 2009 she was 6 years old when her mom brought home eight babies, who joinedher and five other siblings.
Amerah; Natalie Suleman and family.Amanda Friedman
Amanda Friedman
Thinking back, “It was a complete 180 in our lives, so I think we really didn’t know how to handle it, especially me, but I think over time I just decided I had to step up and be a second mom figure, and that’s what I did.”
When she first learned of hermom’s pregnancy, “I think I was confused more than anything. And then over time my mom started explaining to me, we had good close friends that started to explain more to me as well,” she says. “And I started to understand what is actually going on. It’s a lot for a 6-year-old at the time to take in, but I’ve always been told, you’re so mature for your age.”
Natalie ‘Nadya’ Suleman and her children.Amanda Friedman
Even so, there was a lot to navigate. “The paparazzi and the media, it was confusing, frustrating, upsetting, all of those things combined into one,” says Amerah. “But going through it, there was a lot of emotions from all of us.”
One of those emotions, she admits, was anger. “Growing up from the ages of birth to 6 years old, right before the eight were born, my mom basically gave us anything we wanted. She definitely did spoil us. She made sure we had everything and anything we wanted or needed,” says Amerah.
She continues, “Then when the eight were born, she tried to maintain that normalcy, I guess you could say with us. But slowly down the line, throughout the years, it trickled. We got tighter and tighter and tighter with money. We were penny pinching. And I remember just having a lot of anger.”
Natalie and the Suleman octuplets.Natalie Suleman/Instagram
Natalie Suleman/Instagram
Those emotions, says Amerah, stemmed from what she’d lost. “I never meant it in a spoiled brat way, but it was more so, ‘What do you mean I can’t keep cheering because you can’t afford it? What do you mean I can’t do my sports or do the things that I’ve been doing my whole life because we have to save money?'”
To this, she says her mom would always explain, “We’renot rich with money, but we are so rich in family and love. So I think it took a toll, but we got so used to it that we were kind of like, this is life and we’re just going to roll that way. And as long as we have each other, we’re good.”
These days, Amerah, who is an operations manager for a bank, is experiencing life on her own.
“When I first moved out of the home, it was a complete culture shock,” she describes. “I went from a chaotic household, always loud, something’s always going on to basically complete silence. That was honestly a bit scary for me at first. The first year was the most difficult, emotionally, financially, spiritually to go through that 180 change once again.”
Natalie ‘Nadya’ Suleman and her children.Nicolette Lambright/courtesy Lifetime
Nicolette Lambright/courtesy Lifetime
It’s a bond she’s hoping to have with her own large family. “I loved the big family dynamic. For myself, I wouldn’t want as big as a family as my mom has, don’t get me wrong, but I definitely want more than two, three kids.”
I Was Octomompremieres March 8, whileConfessions of Octomompremieres March 10, both on Lifetime.
source: people.com