Ryan Sutter Says His Sex Life with Wife Trista Is 'More Fun' Since Having 2 Kids: It's 'Part of Why We've Lasted So Long'

Mar. 15, 2025

First-ever Bachelorette Trista Sutter celebrates her 50th birthday with her husband, Ryan Sutter at the all new Sandals Royal Curaçao Resort on November 29, 2022 in Willemstad, Curacao.Photo:John Parra/Getty

John Parra/Getty

Ryan Sutteris dishing on his sex life with wifeTrista, and the ways it has improved since becoming parents.During an appearance with Trista on the latest episode oftheAmy & T.J.podcast, the couple — who are parents to daughterBlakesley, 15, and son Maxwell, 16 — opened up about how their sex life has changed since meeting onThe Bachelorettemore than two decades ago.“Now versus then? Well, I mean, 21 years later and two teenagers who walk in your room looking for q-tips or whatever, you know, without knocking. It is, a bit more…” Trista, 52, said before her husband chimed in, “It’s less spontaneous.”Trista joked, “What’s the opposite of spontaneous?”Trista and Ryan Sutter with their kids.Trista Sutter/InstagramOn a more serious note, Ryan, 50, admitted, “I’m the male side of the relationship, so I’m always trying to get a little bit more out of that end of things. But I don’t feel like I can complain.”“I think that we do a really good job,” he explained. “And honestly, I think that’s a part of why we’ve lasted so long. We’ve maintained that part of our life, despite having kids or everything else.”“And sometimes the kids part makes it more fun,” he added. “Like you have to be a little bit more creative with things or quick or whatever. And so, there are advantages to that. But, I feel like I really push that end of things. And so if it weren’t for me, I’m not sure it’d be as good as it is now.”“I know,” Trista teased. “I’m not involved at all.”From left: Ryan and Trista Sutter.Trista Sutter/InstagramWhen asked if they still hold hands when spending time together, Trista responded, “We do unless we’re walking our dog because he’s a little much to handle sometimes… When we were laying on the couch watching the show, we’re either right next to each other or holding hands or our legs are pretzeled together.”She added, “I mean I love physical touch. I love a back rub. You know, I could take more of that, all day… We’re not PDA, I don’t feel like, but we’ll definitely touch out in public and not worry about it, you know, holding hands.”Ryan shared that he loves “love being close to my wife in a non-sexual way,” adding, “Years ago, you would spoon and sleep and stuff and we don’t do that now because she gets way too hot. And so I’ll try to sneak like a foot over and put my foot under her foot or something.”“Like stay away,” Trista added. “I cannot have any body heat anywhere near me. It’s menopause time.”“So we have to figure out other ways to express that,” Ryan explained. “I think we do a pretty good job.”Never miss a story — sign up forPEOPLE’s free daily newsletterto stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer​​, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.Ryan and Trista met while filmingThe Bachelorette’s debut season in 2002 and tied the knot in a televised wedding ceremony in December 2003. The two have been together ever since, and Trista evenpreviously teased in 2019that the secret to their marriage success is “that we disappeared — we live kind of a relatively quiet life in Vail. Enjoy the fun stuff but really focus on your relationship.”

Ryan Sutteris dishing on his sex life with wifeTrista, and the ways it has improved since becoming parents.

During an appearance with Trista on the latest episode oftheAmy & T.J.podcast, the couple — who are parents to daughterBlakesley, 15, and son Maxwell, 16 — opened up about how their sex life has changed since meeting onThe Bachelorettemore than two decades ago.

“Now versus then? Well, I mean, 21 years later and two teenagers who walk in your room looking for q-tips or whatever, you know, without knocking. It is, a bit more…” Trista, 52, said before her husband chimed in, “It’s less spontaneous.”

Trista joked, “What’s the opposite of spontaneous?”

Trista and Ryan Sutter with their kids.Trista Sutter/Instagram

Trista Sutter/Instagram

On a more serious note, Ryan, 50, admitted, “I’m the male side of the relationship, so I’m always trying to get a little bit more out of that end of things. But I don’t feel like I can complain.”

“I think that we do a really good job,” he explained. “And honestly, I think that’s a part of why we’ve lasted so long. We’ve maintained that part of our life, despite having kids or everything else.”

“And sometimes the kids part makes it more fun,” he added. “Like you have to be a little bit more creative with things or quick or whatever. And so, there are advantages to that. But, I feel like I really push that end of things. And so if it weren’t for me, I’m not sure it’d be as good as it is now.”

“I know,” Trista teased. “I’m not involved at all.”

From left: Ryan and Trista Sutter.Trista Sutter/Instagram

When asked if they still hold hands when spending time together, Trista responded, “We do unless we’re walking our dog because he’s a little much to handle sometimes… When we were laying on the couch watching the show, we’re either right next to each other or holding hands or our legs are pretzeled together.”

She added, “I mean I love physical touch. I love a back rub. You know, I could take more of that, all day… We’re not PDA, I don’t feel like, but we’ll definitely touch out in public and not worry about it, you know, holding hands.”

Ryan shared that he loves “love being close to my wife in a non-sexual way,” adding, “Years ago, you would spoon and sleep and stuff and we don’t do that now because she gets way too hot. And so I’ll try to sneak like a foot over and put my foot under her foot or something.”

“Like stay away,” Trista added. “I cannot have any body heat anywhere near me. It’s menopause time.”

“So we have to figure out other ways to express that,” Ryan explained. “I think we do a pretty good job.”

Never miss a story — sign up forPEOPLE’s free daily newsletterto stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer​​, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.

Ryan and Trista met while filmingThe Bachelorette’s debut season in 2002 and tied the knot in a televised wedding ceremony in December 2003. The two have been together ever since, and Trista evenpreviously teased in 2019that the secret to their marriage success is “that we disappeared — we live kind of a relatively quiet life in Vail. Enjoy the fun stuff but really focus on your relationship.”

source: people.com