Server Wonders If It's Okay to Ask Customers Why They Didn't Tip — and the Internet Is Divided

Mar. 15, 2025

A stock image of people paying at a restaurant.Photo:Getty

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One server is asking the Internet for opinions on a restaurant faux pas.

In a video on TikTok, user@housecatchroniclesshares an interaction she had with a coworker after finding herself stiffed on more than one table that shift.

The TikTok user and their coworkers were “mystified” as to why they hadn’t received tips from multiple tables that night, but said, “we just decided to chalk it up to a full moon or something in the water.”

“When I was talking to one of my coworkers about the tables that stiffed me, I was telling her that I was really surprised about one of the tables because we’d had an excellent rapport so I thought,” they continued. “It wasn’t a wildly expensive bill, but it was a decent one. So then choosing not to tip me on that kinda hit my night pretty hard.”

The TikTok user then said their coworker asked which table it was, and they noted it was a couple that happened to still be in the restaurant. “She was like ‘Oh, they’re still here, why don’t you go ask them? Why don’t you ask them why they didn’t tip you?’ “ the server continued. “And I just started laughing because I’m like, ‘No. No. I’m not going to do that.’ And she’s like ‘Well I would. I would absolutely go over there and ask them why they stiffed me.’ “

This is where the TikTok user poses the question for the Internet to unpack: is it okay for a server to ask a customer why they decided not to tip?

“I have never ever approached the table and asked why they didn’t tip me. I was taught a long time ago that that simply isn’t done and I’ve always believed it or understood that tipping is not required in a restaurant,” they continued. “Yes, it’s part of the social contract, and yes, you should tip, but it is not required. And part of the gamble of working in the restaurant industry is that there is a chance that somebody might not tip you for whatever reason.”

Despite believing that it’s inappropriate for a server to ask a customer why they didn’t tip, their coworker stated that she would approach the non-tipping customer and ask if there was something wrong with their service. “I was just aghast,” the TikTok user continued.

“I have only asked 1 time. It was regulars who repeatedly requested me but never tipped, they responded ‘I don’t believe in it,’ “ one user commented. “I asked them to stop requesting me. They don’t come back anymore.”

“If they’re not upholding the social contract of tipping, I see no need for you to uphold the social contract of not saying ‘hey what’s up with that?’ “ another wrote.

Though others disagreed with the idea of asking a customer why they didn’t tip, with one user calling it a “fireable offense,” some suggested it was possible the customers didn’t know the employee was expecting a tip.

A stock image of a server taking a customer’s order.Getty

“A server once politely asked me why I didn’t tip and I was MORTIFIED,” one user shared. “There was a line on the bill about a service charge and I misinterpreted it to mean that gratuity had already been added.”

“Always pause if the customer seems like they might not be from US — Remember other countries have gratuity already on the check… so some ppl might genuinely and simply not be accustomed 2 adding tip!” another suggested.

According to theDepartment of Labor, the federal minimum wage for tipped employees in the United States is currently $2.13 — though their minimum wage needs to meet at least $7.25 an hour when combined with tips. This number differs from state to state, with states like California requiring a base hourly pay rate of $16.50 an hour before tips.

“I’m also one of those servers that believes it always balances out in the end – that has been my personal experience in the restaurant industry,” the user continued. “If there is somebody that doesn’t tip you, there are plenty of people that will make up for that.”

source: people.com