Woman Fears ‘Early Red Flags’ After Going on 3 Dates With a Man: ‘He Comes Across as a Real Gentleman'

Mar. 15, 2025

Man and woman on date (stock image).Photo:Prostock-Studio/Getty/Stock Image

Prostock-Studio/Getty/Stock Image

A woman is wondering if she should be worried about several potential“early red flags”after going on several dates with a new guy — and many people on the Internet think she should be.

The woman detailed her recent experience in a post on the site mumsnet.com on Feb. 3, noting that she has been on three dates with the man in question and that they spoke for several weeks before meeting in person.

While the woman says that the guy has “come across as a real gentleman,” she also says that she’s been “questioning” a moment on their most recent dinner date.

“He offered to give me a lift home and I accepted,” she began, adding that they kissed in his car and chatted for a bit before she headed inside.

The first “red flag” moment, she says, came right before she exited the car when “he lightly tapped me across the facelike a slap.”

The woman says that while “it wasn’t at all hard” and he was “grinning” after he did it, she can’t help but wonder if “this is him testing the waters with me and [he] could potentially be abusive in the future.”

The original poster (OP) then went on to share a second potentially concerning moment from the same date in which “he touched my face with one of his fingers then looked at his finger” — as if to see if she waswearing makeup.

She says that the man then shared that he “doesn’t really like” makeup because “it’s just not good for your skin.”

The woman admits that the comment felt like a potential “red flag as well,” but that she also can’t be sure if it’s just “his way of being funny or messing around.”

Woman and man on date (stock image).Getty

Getty

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Overall, other women on the platform advised the OP to listen to her instincts on this one.

“Trust your gut. Walk away,” wrote one commenter.

“Immediate no from me,” said another.

“Don’t risk it, walk away. He sounds controlling, judgemental and potentiallyphysically abusive,” added another person.

Another commenter noted that the man doesn’t truly sound like a “real gentleman” based on his actions.

“I have never dated anyone but ‘real gentlemen’ and [touching] your face like that or commenting on your skin is absolutely not the behavior of a kind/gentlemanly [person],” they wrote.

If you are experiencing domestic violence, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233, or go tothehotline.org. All calls are toll-free and confidential. The hotline is available 24/7 in more than 170 languages.

source: people.com