Woman Kept Her Own Last Name After Getting Married — Now Her In-Laws Say She's 'Disrespecting' Them

Mar. 15, 2025

Woman arguing with older couple in stock photo.Photo:Getty

Getty

A woman says her in-laws are fuming after she chose not to take their last name after marrying their son.

In a post shared toReddit, the woman writes that before the two married one year ago, they discussed last names, and agreed that she would keep her own. “It never occurred to me that I should tell anyone of our decision to not change my last name,” she adds.

Stock photo of woman speaking with older couple.Getty

“I calmly as I could (I was so upset at this point I could hardly talk) told him my reasons for not wanting to change my name,” she writes. “1) it’s complicated and expensive to change id’s and such 2) my current last name is unique, I’ve never met another person outside of family with it 3) my home business and degree were established under my current name.”

But none of those reasons “were good enough” for her husband’s parents, who tried to argue that their other daughter-in-law had changed her name.

“I said I don’t feel that I further need to justify my decision to you since you’re not listening or understanding my perspective,” she writes.

The woman wants to know if she is in the wrong “for not publicly announcing” her intentions to keep her maiden name and “for walking out mid conversation with my new in-laws.”

But other Reddit users don’t seem to think so, with one writing, “It’s your name, no one gets to tell you what it should or shouldn’t be. I’d say if anyone is disrespecting other people’s names, it’s your FIL for not thinking your name is as good as his.”

Never miss a story — sign up forPEOPLE’s free daily newsletterto stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer​​, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.

Added another commenter: “He isn’t disrespecting your name. He is literally disrespecting you, as an adult person who can have their opinion and reasons. He is looking at you as a lower one, because, according to him, YOU have to change the last name. Why he isn’t suggesting his son to change his last name to yours? It is unique, and he already has one son with [the other daughter-in-law] that continues his last name.”

source: people.com