Woman Says Her Fiancé Told Her to Stay in a Hotel After Her Surgery Because He Doesn't Want to Board His Dog

Mar. 15, 2025

A couple with their dog (stock image).Photo:Getty

Getty

The woman turned to Reddit’s“Am I the A——?” forumto explain how her fiancé suggested that she stay in a hotel to recover after her surgery — instead of him boarding the “very reactive pit bull” for a few days, which she had previously requested “just to have things a bit calmer” at home.

The woman described the dog as “loving and sweet,” but also as “a handful” with “super high energy,” noting that “she’s part of the family.”

A pit bull terrier (stock image).Dan Baillie/500px/Getty

Dan Baillie/500px/Getty

“I’ve realized how much of a priority my fiancé’s dog is. Again, not an issue, and I love the way he cares for her, but my needs are often pushed aside for her,” she emphasized. “EVERYTHING revolves around her and how she’s feeling. If she’s extra clingy that day, we don’t go anywhere.”

“It’s only slightly bothered me until recently, when he told me to get a hotel after a surgery that I am having in a few weeks to recover because ‘it would be too much to take care of me and the dog,’ ” she recalled. “I’m having a pretty invasive surgery, and will need to be pretty low key for a few days. I was nervous about this, because the pittie always jumps on me whenever I enter a room and plays pretty aggressively.”

As a solution, she asked him to board their dog for a few days, telling the forum that he often does this when he travels or is busy with work.

“He was immediately shocked that I would ask that, saying that he would never board her unnecessarily,” she wrote. “However, he has done so in the past when he has had a big work event or needs to focus on something, even when he’s in town. His reasoning this time is that he will be boarding her a few days before my surgery for a work trip, and then again a week later for another work trip, so he won’t have much time with her.”

A man and woman arguing (stock image).Liubomyr Vorona/Getty

Liubomyr Vorona/Getty

Feeling a barrage of emotions, she admitted that “I know that his dog is his first priority” but that his hotel suggestion “is really bothering me.”

“Maybe I’m just being selfish and jealous of the dog, but at some point I would love to be the priority. Or have my needs somewhat considered,” she concluded, before asking, “AITA [am I the a——] for feeling this way and for asking my fiancé to board our dog while I’m recovering from surgery?”

“NTA [not the a——],” many readers replied. One said, “If the dog could impact your healing, it’s reasonable. However, I think if the best solution he has is to send you to a hotel, there is a much bigger issue here.”

”When you have open incisions, the last thing you should be doing is going to a hotel or some other environment where you didn’t clean it yourself and you can’t easily eat healthy,” that person added. “This should just be your eye opener into where your boyfriend’s priorities are at and what he values the most. I’m sorry but he is so far out of touch.”

“Now that I know I’m not completely out of line, I think I’ll bring it up again. Maybe separating rooms, like some of you have suggested,” she added. “But, I know that if the dog is there, my needs will come second — which I realize now is an issue that I need to address. I know a lot of you are saying to ‘run’ which I completely understand. Right now, that’s not something I can think of, but it’s making me question a lot.”

source: people.com