Woman Says She Doesn’t Want to Invite Her Grieving Aunt to Her Daughter’s 3rd Birthday Party

Mar. 15, 2025

A children’s birthday party in a stock photo.Photo:Getty

Getty

A woman is sparking a viral online conversation after saying that she does not want to invite her grieving aunt to her young daughter’s birthday party.

Still, the woman wrote that she knew her mom was just “trying to be there,” so she never said anything about including Kathy in so many family plans.

However, that changed when it came time for her to plan her daughter’s third birthday.“My daughter is quite shy except around ‘her people,’ " the woman wrote, explaining that they planned to keep the guest list “small” — and limited to the girl’s “two sets of grandparents, her two aunts and uncle, and her 3 cousins.”

But that didn’t stop her mom from calling her up to “ask if we could please include Kathy.”

“I said I felt weird doing this as no other extended family was invited and I didn’t want to set up for bad feelings,” the woman said, noting that initially her mom seemed okay with that. However, the next day she got a “long text” from her, asking her to reconsider.

“She added that Kathy is struggling so much with the loss of her husband and having events and family around is so important,” the woman continued. “I know grief is hard and at the same time, I just don’t want her there! WIBTA if I don’t let Kathy come?”

Commenters on the post seemed to be largely in agreement that the woman’s shouldn’t feel like she needed to invite her aunt to the party.

Other commenters also pointed out that while they didn’t see the harm in inviting her aunt, the woman was ultimately allowed to “invite who you like.”

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Meanwhile, another Redditor pointed out that Kathy might actually enjoy having some time to herself.

“It helps those who have lost a loved one to keep busy and to have less time to think about their sorrow,” the commenter wrote, going on to to share that after losing a spouse, they weren’t “invited to everything,” which was fine because they also “needed my alone time to process” their emotions.

“Tell your mother for the original reasons you told her, you will not change your mind,” the commenter added. “Tell her YOU need to stay upbeat for the party, and you look forward to seeing Kathy at holiday gatherings. Don’t let yourself be pressured.”

source: people.com