Women Form Unique Friendship After They Both Lose an Eye to Cancer: 'We Have 2 Cats, 2 Partners Called Mark and 2 Eyes’

Mar. 15, 2025

A stock photo of friends hugging.Photo:Manuta/Getty

Manuta/Getty

Two women in England formed a sister-like bond after both having an eye removed after they were diagnosed with the same rare cancer.

Jo Denman and Tessa Parry-Wingfield, both 46 and of southwest London, had their eyes removed — Denman the right and Parry-Wingfield the left — about a year apart after they were both diagnosed with ocular melanoma; a very rare cancer that affects only five out of every million adults, per U.K. newspaperThe Times.

According to theAmerican Academy of Ophthalmology, “Ocular melanoma (melanoma in or around the eye) is a type of cancer that develops in the cells that produce pigment. Pigment gives color to your skin, hair and eyes.”

“Just as you can develop melanoma on your skin, you can also develop it inside your eye or on your conjunctiva. Although it is the most common eye cancer in adults, ocular melanoma is very rare,” the AAO added.

A photo of two people holding hands.Cecilie_Arcurs/Getty

Cecilie_Arcurs/Getty

The friends have a lot in common; both are parents — Denman is mom to a 10-year-old son, while Parry-Wingfield has daughters ages 11 and 13 — they both have partners named Mark, they both have cats and they both work in marketing and communications, as well as having the same medical team for their operations.

“We have two cats, two partners, called Mark, and two eyes,” Parry-Wingfield told the outlet, adding that together they “are either an unstoppable force or a walking disaster.”

When the pair — who also live round the corner from one other — met, Denman was getting ready for her op following an opticians appointment the month prior in February. She’d noticed a red vein in her right eye and that she was feeling a little “spacey.”

She’d joked to her husband at the time about “finding out if I’m going blind.” On the morning of her appointment, Denman also “noticed a sinister patch on her iris that had discolored from blue to yellow,” per the outlet.

“The optician said she could see a ‘shadow,’ ” Denman said, adding that her optician made an appointment for her at the hospital the following morning. Weeks worth of tests later, she was told the tumor had filled half her eyeball and that it’d be best to have her eye removed.

Denman told the publication, “Mark and I both went ‘ah?’, expecting the surgeon to say, ‘and put it back again.’ He didn’t."

A stock photo of a doctor.Ivan-balvan/Getty

Ivan-balvan/Getty

Parry-Wingfield had been diagnosed around a year before Denman, telling the outlet it was a “scary, fast-moving situation.”

“The whole point was to say to Jo, ‘You can do this,’ ” Parry-Wingfield said of meeting Denman. “She was in that stage of shock, it’s just terrifying, and I knew how she felt.”

“The parallels were extraordinary,” Parry-Wingfield said of their lives being so similar, adding, “It normalizes something that’s very abnormal. I’m no longer the only one with the one eye.”

“It seems too much of a coincidence,” Denman admitted. “It feels like there is a bit of fate there that I met Tess at that time.”

Although both feel lucky, especially for their friendship, Parry-Wingfield told the outlet, “Even looking in the mirror was hard … I would question myself: is this vanity, or is it just horrifically scary, to see yourself for the first time with no eye? And then you have to go outside and face the whole world.”

“Nothing will recreate your eye. People say, ‘You must be so pleased,’ ” she added to the publication, referencing their acrylic prosthetic eyes. “It’s more calm acceptance here. It isn’t real and doesn’t look the same. We’ve lost half our vision."

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“Nothing stops you grieving for your real eye. This teaches you a big lesson about what’s important … It’s different, you feel different, people look at you differently, and it just takes a really long time,” Parry-Wingfield added to the outlet.

“I’m lucky that I’ve got another eye,” Denman said. “And the cancer was removed without any other treatment.”

“We aren’t skipping through the fields with great joy because a cancer diagnosis is terrifying. But I like our story,” Parry-Wingfield continued, per the publication. “It’s a story of facing adversity together.”

Parry-Wingfield first shared her cancer journey withThe Timesback in Julyand called it a “gruelling - but also surprisingly enlightening - ordeal” in a post on herLinkedIn page.

In an message to PEOPLE, Parry-Wingfield said she’d experienced “more of a rollercoaster of emotions” than Denman, who she said had “taken it all in her stride” in terms of the diagnosis.

“What’s the thing that got me through? Honestly, it’s shock. I truly believe it’s nature’s way of wrapping you in cotton wool, so you can stagger through the darkest of times – with numbness, disbelief and robotic emotions,” Parry-Wingfield added.

“The why will always linger. But I’ve also learnt that that narrative doesn’t really lead anywhere and isn’t super helpful in recovery. The best mindset is: we’ve dodged a bullet, let’s do this!” she continued.

A stock photo of a patient with a doctor.Getty Images

Getty Images

Despite admitting she felt like she’d dealt with the whole thing “calmly and practically,” Denman told PEOPLE that there was “a horrible period of uncertainty and fear” while she had to wait six weeks for a diagnosis.

“You look back and go – what on earth just happened?! Is this real life? It seems like an unimaginable horror movie. The main thing is, we are here to tell the tale. We have families to look after and friends to drink wine with,” added Parry-Wingfield.

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When it comes to their friendship, Denman told PEOPLE she “can’t imagine not being friends with Tessa now,” while Parry-Wingfield added, “Ours is a story of extraordinary serendipity. I can’t express eloquently enough how much it’s helped me having someone who understands this very unique journey.”

Both women are supporters of theVictoria Cohen Eye Cancer Charitable Trustwhich provides a yearly $30,000 scholarship for aspiring ocular oncologists.

source: people.com